I can also serve as a supportive listener as you express your emotions regarding the infidelity and I can help you determine your needs, future goals for the relationship, whether you choose to maintain or end it. I can help encouraging an open evaluation of the relationship’s strengths and weaknesses. If unhealthy patterns exist, such as co-dependency, repeated affairs, partners being blamed for their partner’s infidelity , I can help you work through those feelings and obtain new perspectives.
Is a new, healthier model replacing the co-dependent model. It is supportive and empowering for the partners rather than blaming. Prodependence recommends and implements the same basic therapeutic actions as codependence—a fresh or renewed focus on self-care coupled with implementation of healthier boundaries but in a gentle supportive way. Codependence, as a deficit-based trauma model, views loved ones of addicts as traumatized, damaged, and needing help. Prodependence, as a strength-based attachment-driven model, views loved ones of addicts as heroes for continuing to love and continuing to remain attached but in a healthy way. If you feel you are being blamed for your partners choices and behaviors or shamed for continuing to stay connected to your partner through their infidelity or addiction, this form of therapy is a perfect fit for you.
Co-dependency is a learned behavior that can be passed down from one generation to another. It is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. They lose touch with where they end and their partner, family member or friend begins. They have no healthy boundaries connecting them to others. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive.
Unhealthy families do not acknowledge that problems exist. They don’t talk about them or confront them. As a result, family members learn to repress emotions and disregard their own needs. They become “survivors.” They develop behaviors that help them deny, ignore, or avoid difficult emotions. They detach themselves. They don’t talk. They don’t touch. They don’t confront. They don’t feel. They don’t trust. They do however, try to constantly rescue the other person. These repeated rescue attempts allow the needy individual to continue on a destructive course and hinder the co-dependent from breaking away from these unhealthy behaviors.
Do you and your partner always fight about the same things and can’t seem to resolve them? Do you cycle back to the same arguments over and over again? Having problems in a relationship often stems from lack of communication, intimacy, trust or conflicts around daily home chores and infidelity.
If you feel that you need and want to reconnect with your partner, my online counseling is a great way to learn how you can work on building a strong long-term relationship with your partner. I can help you build your coping, communication, interpersonal and social skills.
Whether you are having relationship problems or dealing with infidelity, the factors that influence the recovery process include communication skills, tolerance for conflict, capacity for honesty, acceptance of personal responsibility, and attachment style. Just as each relationship is distinct from another, so is recovery.