Addiction

An addiction does not just harm you physically but also emotionally. It often makes you cycle from isolation, to acting out, to guilt and shame. Your addiction can also cause tremendous financial and relationship problems.

Many people with addictions deny or refuse to acknowledge that they have a problem. If you feel you need more and more of the substance or behavior to feel extreme pleasure you might have an addiction.  If you have a desire to quit, you will find online counseling very beneficial.

I specialize in alcohol addiction, sex addiction, love addiction, food addiction, shopping addiction as well as family members and partners of addicts. If you have been living in a rehab center and are looking for after care, I can connect with you anywhere.

I understand what steps, tools, skills and strategies are necessary to establish sobriety, enriching and empowering your life. I will help you unravel the complicated layers of your life, and lead you towards life-changing solutions. I will help you identify thoughts, feelings and behaviors that trigger and maintain your addiction. I will help you develop skills that will enable you to live your life free from your addiction. If you are questioning whether you may have an addiction I have the education and tools to help provide clarity in that area.

 

What is Love Addiction

Love addiction is a result of unfulfilled childhood needs leading to obsessive, all-consuming feelings of fantasy and love for one’s partner in an effort to have those needs met, to be taken care of and protected.

Fears often overwhelm the love addict, some of which include:

  • Fear of rejection
  • Fear of pain
  • Fear of unfamiliar experiences

Characteristics of love addiction include:

  • A feeling of being all-consuming
  • Inhibition
  • Avoiding risk or change
  • Fear of true intimacy
  • Manipulation
  • Demanding of the loved one’s devotion and attention
  • Powerless feeling over thoughts, feelings and behaviors regarding love and relationship
  • All-consuming and obsessive

 

Below is a set of characteristics that apply to many love addicts. Review them to determine whether you might have issues with love addiction that may be affecting your happiness, both personally and within your relationships.

  • Needy in your relationships?
  • Obsessive levels of fantasy about your relationships?
  • Lower standards to alleviate feelings of loneliness?
  • Tend to smother your partner?
  • Are drawn to love avoidant people?
  • Can’t let go?
  • Ignore warning signs that someone may not be right for you?
  • When you fall, you fall hard?

What is Sex Addiction

Sexual addiction is best described as a progressive intimacy disorder characterized by compulsive sexual thoughts and acts. The National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity has defined sexual addiction as “engaging in persistent and escalating patterns of sexual behavior acted out despite increasing negative consequences to self and others.” In other words, a sex addict will continue to engage in certain sexual behaviors despite facing potential health risks, financial problems, shattered relationships or even arrest. Sexual addiction is a devastating and destructive problem that affects addicts as well as their spouses/partners and families. I work with both addicts and partners/family members of addicts. I can provide you with the skills necessary to recover and live a healthy, fulfilled life. I am highly trained in sexual addiction recovery and I understand the pain and shame that compulsive sexual behaviour creates. I offer a non-judgmental, empathetic approach to addiction counseling that is state-of-the-art. Let me help you find your way out of the maze of addiction. You can break free and I’m ready to assist you.

Spouses and partners of addicts experience trauma and betrayal resulting from the discovery of the addict’s secretive behaviour; therefore I will work on a recovery program with you. I will help you work through the feelings of fear, anger, confusion, disbelief, and betrayal so you can get your life back.

Fantasy

 

Fantasy can be debilitating to some people. Some people with sex addiction have problems with sexual fantasy, sexual thinking or real-world sexual behavior that significantly damage his or her ability to lead a stable life centered on a sense of emotional well-being. Specific problems associated with the condition include the recurring use of sex or sexual thought/fantasy as an “escape” from unpleasant situations or moods, loss of control over sexual behavior or sexual thought/fantasy, a compelling and recurring need to participate in sexual activities that don’t necessarily bring pleasure, a sex-related inability to meet core responsibilities or obligations and a recurring involvement in dysfunctional sexual activity or sexual thought/fantasy that damages the ability to form stable personal, social or professional relationships with others. It is a form of dissociation and a way to imagine the impossible. Lost in a world of unreality, fantasy is an isolated act that shields the addict from interpersonal exchange. It is a way to escape emotional or physical pain. Living in a fantasy world creates disconnect from your partner and others. Being held hostage by habitual sexual fantasies or images, because fantasy has taken on a disproportionately larger roll and become detrimental, will block you from being present and connecting.

When is fantasy unhealthy:

  • Becomes an obsession
  • Spends spare time planning
  • Becomes a quest to satisfy sexual fantasies
  • Disregarding partners needs
  • Becomes uncomfortable for the partner
  • Coercion
  • Start to demand the fantasy sex from the partner
  • Become aggressive with their partners
  • Starts to spike negative consequences
  • Obsession starts to affect other areas of life
  • Effects professional, personal, spiritual aspects of life
  • You can’t stop

Start the healing process today

Contact me to book an Online Counseling session.